News
Editorial: The warm goodbye
Scott Wagar
10/23/2012
Over the weekend I lost someone who is very dear to me, my relative Clarice Vinje. Clarice passed away on Saturday evening from stomach and pancreatic cancer which had spread through her body.
Clarice, at 103 years old, was the matriarch of our family, and she was very dear to me because since the day I was born she has always been there for me, caring for me, looking out for me, loving me with all her heart.
As a young child, as my parents were working, it was Clarice that I stayed with, and as I grew into an adult we became close and stayed tight as family members.
When I learned that Clarice wasn’t going to survive her bout with cancer, and that I would have to go up to St. Andrew’s and say good-bye to her, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life.
For the most part, when you walk into a hospital to see a patient you normally are going into the person’s room to wish he or she a speedy recovery. But, walking into a person’s room to say good-bye is quite another matter.
As I entered into St. Andrew’s, the walk to her room felt like an eternity to me, each step I took I’d dreaded, wishing I could turn around and leave.
When I finally came to her room, and walked in, I fell silent, not really knowing what to say to Clarice. After some small talk with her, I stepped up close to Clarice’s bed, held her hand and told her I loved her, and, once again fell short in saying good-bye.
Clarice, who knows me to well, and knowing my struggles with saying good-bye to people, spoke up and said, “You know, there are no good-byes in the Christian world, just see you later. After all, we will see one another again some day,” she said as I smiled at her. Clarice then added these last words, “I will be waiting for you at the Eastern Gate.”
If walking into the hospital was difficult for me, walking out of St. Andrew’s was even more difficult. Walking down the hall from her room seemed twice as long as going into her room, and as I went down the hall her words of waiting for me at the Eastern Gate, the Gate of Heaven, touched my heart and soul for many reasons, deep emotional reasons, but more so for one specific reason.
Clarice’s stay at the hospital had journeyed into many weeks, and with her types of cancer she had a great deal of pain and nausea. For the family, of course, seeing her suffer was unbearable and knowing she was dying we wished for Clarice to go as quickly as she could so she wouldn’t have to suffer any longer.
For me, it was even more difficult, because I couldn’t understand why God would allow her to lay there for so long suffering. And yet, not a day went by where Clarice didn’t share her Christian views with those who walked into her room. I came to the conclusion that God kept Clarice on this earth for such a long time during her suffering to give her positive message to those who needed to hear her views and reasoning on God.
When one thinks about it, there is Clarice in bed, in pain, being nauseated, losing weight and suffering; and yet, she gave God praises to everyone who came to see her.
As for my message from Clarice, in a time when I thought I was losing someone forever, who was very close to me, she reminded me that there would be another day for her and I. Clarice’s warm words were a blessing to hear, and I am looking forward to seeing her again in what I am sure has become her favorite place of all time – the Kingdom of God.