News

A multicultural family

By Scott Wagar

12/30/2014

John and Missy Porter have found a calling. Over a year ago, they made the decision to adopt a child; and, not just any child, but those in China that have special needs. 

Through the adoption process they have brought love and care to their newest member of their family who has grown into an everyday kid filled with happiness and good health.

When the Porters made the decision to adopt, they already had three children, Mickey who is 12 years old; Jeffery, 11 and Mary Beth, nine. With three children and busy lives, it was still important for them to adopt.

“We had always known that one of the ways we would build our family was through adoption, as there are many children in the world that are in need of a loving home,” John said. “It was just a matter of finding the correct time for our family.”

The Porters started the adoption process with China in August of 2013 and were granted a little girl on New Year’s Day of this year by the name of Ruby Mei. Although they learned of their newest child on New Year’s Day, due to legal matters the Porter family didn’t get to see Ruby Mei until three months later when the family was finally able to fly to China and met her for the first time. “The process for adopting Ruby Mei took about 12 months,” John said. “The initial paperwork for the adoption is considerable but very manageable. Once approved, and while we were in China it was wonderful. All the guides, adoption coordinators, and drivers we had in China were extremely kind and well organized. wOur time in China was very stress free and enjoyable.”

One of the reasons John and Missy decided to adopt from China was because the majority of the kids up for adoption have special needs, which is something the Porters want to assist and care for because they feel the need to make a child’s life better if they can.

“The only children available to adopt from China at this point all have some type of special need.  After a lot of research and discussion we knew that this was the program we would adopt through,” Missy said. “John has worked in special education for approximately 18 years and we felt very comfortable providing the love, care and support that our child would require.”

When Ruby Mei was introduced to the family, she was very small for a 16 month old child, and she had difficulty in her overall core strength and having the ability to sit up on her own. 

Ruby Mei also had a cleft lip. She had reconstructive surgery in China, but Ruby Mei needed more surgery on her lip, which John and Missy cared for once they returned back to the U.S. 

Since coming to America, and living with John and Missy and their kids in West Fargo, Ruby Mei is a true Porter child where she spends her days playing with her siblings, dancing to music and smiling a lot.

 “When we first met Ruby, she was healthy but a bit behind developmentally, which is completely normal and we had expected it. She quickly caught up over the summer and is now running around playing with her brothers and sister like any other 23 month old,” Missy said. “She loves to dance to her favorite songs, look at books, play with her toys, and loves going outside to play.  “She is a happy, lovable, smart, funny little girl.  She brings our family so much joy and love. We cannot image our life without her.” 

The Porter family made the transition for Ruby Mei a little easier by learning some Mandarin and singing songs to her in Ruby Mei’s original language. They also played Chinese games with her and had meetings with other families who have also adopted children from China and celebrated Chinese holidays with the other families.    

With such a positive experience in adopting a child, John and Missy wish to encouraged others to consider adoption. 

“We feel very good about the adoption process.  It was a wonderful experience for our family. There were no surprises along the way, it went faster than we thought it would, and our family was blessed with an amazing baby girl,” Missy said. “We would most definitely encourage anyone who is interested in growing their family through adoption or foster care to research the process and talk to families that have done so.  

“We are always more than happy to visit with anyone who has questions and it is our biggest wish to bring more awareness to the possibility of adoption,” Missy continued. “Our only regret is that we didn’t start the process sooner.”

In November, which was Adoption Awareness Month, John and Missy received the North Dakota Department of Human Services Multicultural Award for their endeavor to nurture cultural heritage in adoption. 

In October, John was also awarded the North Dakota Special Education Director award for 2014-15.     

With one child from China, the Porters are making plans to adopt another child from China.

“We are very exited to be adopting again,” Missy said. “We are in the middle of the process to adopt a six year old boy from China.

 We are reusing our dossie so it is going to go a bit faster than it did the last time.”